i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
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