I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
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