Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
