do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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