Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize