you turned your livingroom into a bong?
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
