This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
