The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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