Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
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