Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize