Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
