Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Randomize
