i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I will die if light touches me.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Randomize
