Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
