Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Randomize
