Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
