Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Randomize
