Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
