I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Randomize
