Your face is a jimmy john
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
do nipples grow back?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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