I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Randomize
