im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
