I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
