btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
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Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
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note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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