I am puke
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
