I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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