I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
