I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
too bad you live with your parents still
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
should my penis look like a turkey
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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