we have pet lesbian snakes
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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