Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
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