Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I can't turn off my feet"
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
