their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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