i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
