I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
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