if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
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