at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
