Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
