This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Be still, my beating vagina.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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