my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
