Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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