Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
