lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Your dad touched me again.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
We are two peas in an std pod
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
