Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Randomize
