I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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