How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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