There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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