there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
