ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
