Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
