Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
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He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
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Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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