I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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