I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
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even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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