Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
And then my night got REAL pukey
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