after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
