U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize