you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
