I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize