He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
