I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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