Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
