Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Randomize
