Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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