dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
