My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
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